Days On Earth

not that

2009-09-09T13:55:00.000+08:00

i am not a good person
i am not caring
or thoughtful
or considerate
or kind
or whatever.
i am not a good person.

Wolves and their death warrens

2009-09-07T00:20:00.003+08:00

sorry for the blog being so dead
read an article about 3 wolves violating the Swiss law by hunting more sheeps that they should have

well, I feel really unhappy for the wolves
how are they suppose to know that they are not suppose to hunt more than 25 animals in a month?
did we tell them? did they understand our language?
did we understand their predicament?
absolutely not.

the farmers want them eliminated
is that fair for the wolves?
we have destroyed nature's way for bringing technology into animals' lives
and now we are implying that they have destoyed ours?
this is rather ridiculous

humans are just so selfish
so what if we're "highly intelligent creatures"?
you can call me ignorant and immature
but i believe that as the more intelligent whatchamacallit
we should be doing our part in protecting the other living things
and not destroying them.

and by the way
that country doing it now is Switzerland
SWITZERLAND
I cannot believe this
shouldn't Switzerland be the peaceful and humanitarian-wholesome country?
that loves all mankind alike and animals?

Jean Henry Dunnant will be disappointed.

angry! then happy

2009-07-30T23:38:00.000+08:00

i was actually quite angry!
and then i was okay
then i got angry again, and this time i felt that hey! though you pointed that flaw in me
you yourself also show it!
its not fair that only i get pin-pointed at!
then i was okay
then today lunchtime with mardi and nada was most enjoyable! ^^
though it ended up in me being paranoid with them again
almost threw up! ><

physics tuition!
haha was damn funny!
and i managed to make the whole class laugh!

indeed, it is important for the psychiatrist to have a slightly perverted and twisted mind
just like what i believe in, my teacher says its one of the important ways you can get to know and understand your patients more
:D
very fun day today! XD i think..

wth

2009-07-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

do not just complain and blame
look at yourself and see what you are doing to others
knwoing how to shout,
only means you know you are wrong.
admit defeat.
dont just see what shit others give you.
see the shit you have given to others first.

i believe i worked hard and i deserve what i got
it was my goal and i did well to reach it
admit it, you didnt win me

demanding
yet not getting
you shout at the innocent civilians
now i finally know why they rebelled.

stupid!

2009-07-28T20:48:00.001+08:00

Bakana koto iwanaide

stupid baka!

The Hubble Satellite

2009-07-20T23:43:00.003+08:00

Hubble
You were a great telescope
Thank You for letting me learn more about Astronomy
My second childhood ambition was to become an astronaut
though it is quite not-going-to-happen i think,
but still, because of you, and things in space,
my interest and curiosity in Astronomy has never died
never
I hope the atmosphere doesn't burn you up too badly
I hope the other parts of the galaxy you are about to explore will be wonderful
I hope the Pacific Ocean will be able to cool you down
Lastly,
I hope you'll always know
that there are millions of enthusiastic astronomy learners out there
just like me
who will always remember you~

i just realise that although im not the first few of the tops in class academically wise
but if we were to be examined on outside knowledge, like such topics
I could probably be top 10, if not top 5,
if not,
top.

fun fact:
The little email with the attachment of God's Eye we all received a few years ago?
that was actually a supernova
yep,
a big star.
i forgot the name of the nebula though..
but anyway, the fact that it looked like an eye, was really cool

no one would have seen that, or other galaxies' existances, or the comets' collisions onto Jupiter in 18 July 1994, etc etc
if not for Hubble~

open book

2009-07-18T16:47:00.001+08:00

and for those who think im an open book,
i have succeeded in putting on a mask

i hide alot in me,
dont just look on the surface~

sweeeeeet

2009-06-28T17:26:00.002+08:00

Rock: The lotus blooms for you!
Sakura: That's twice, right?
Rock: As many times as you want! :D

aww...
isnt that sweet?
though the final end of the game was sick..

why

2009-06-28T00:33:00.001+08:00

why do you have to do it?
:(

Tribute to Princess Euphemia

2009-06-26T16:16:00.002+08:00

I know she died long time ago.. but still
Euphemia-sama
you're really like me..
i hope that you will rest in peace
for you have tried ur best
and i know that you will never do any evil
you were a great person
I'll Remember You

so does that mean that..
to survive in this stupid freaking crazy evil society
you have to be unkind
mean
selfish
inconsiderate
and evil
and bad?

I don't want to be like this...

confusing day

2009-06-25T01:09:00.003+08:00

some confusing things happened to me today
i dont really know how i feel yet, but i believe i'll know soon

anyway, saw this comprehension passage while doing chinese homework
to me it was really meaningful, and if u take the time to really read it, i think it'll make you guys think too :)

but its getting late now, so i shall type it next time XD

what a confusing day..

i realised that i am somewhat similar to Euphemia li Britainnia
most ppl would not agree with this statement, but i know myself
we both love and care too much, till the extend that we became naive, imbecile
we turn a blind eye and ear to the real world
and get stuck in our foolish fantasies, of a world where everyone loves and cares
a world ruled by kindness

and in the end,
we suffer because of our heart
because we were born to be like this

compassion is good
kindness is a virtue
care is warm, yet not too hot
and love is a feeling that makes you afraid, yet glad

but when someone was to be born with too much of all these,
they become handicapped
its never easy to be born a hero
it has more obstacles than anything else in this world

and so, such people cannot live in such a world
thus, unless they change, and turn into a cold-hearted freak
they are disposed of.

but, i dont want to turn into such a thing.

happy bday Jin Hao

2009-06-23T02:38:00.004+08:00

my new favourite anime!

Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion!

Fave characters: Euphemia, Lelouch, C.C, Nanaly, Suzaku,!

okay, so today's 23/6/09 le
but still
Happy Belated 16 Birthday Jin Hao!
I only started to become good friends with you in sec4 even though we were always in the same class
but better late than never
I am glad you are my friend! :)
here's wishing that you will always be happy
strong and smiling even through the toughest situations!
work hard for your dreams!
Chelsea rocks! (though im not a soccer fan.)
and i hope that even after this year you will always remember us!
Happy Birthday my fellow Cancerian!

anyway, today went to renon's house to meet the usual ppl
went to jp to make jinhao's bday cake with darren & leon
is DIY de!
we had a really fun time designing it! haha! XD
but.. forgot to take photo..

cake time! the cake was damn nice!
haha!

soccer!
totally unprepared
my performance today is really terrible!
must improve..

then, went back to renon's house
got teased by renon's mom
haha XD
watched Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion with leon on the computer
wahh..

then went for dinner with aaron renon leon darren tedmond
@ kfc
took a long time to decide on the place to eat though :)

hmm
i still think that if this world has more
love, care, consideration, compassion and kindness
it would be a much more better place to live in :)
that's just me

one of a kind?

2009-06-23T00:57:00.002+08:00

one of a kind?
is that phrase truly good or bad?
if you are always cheerful, smiling, laughing
everyone laughs with u
everyone loves you
yes, you are truly one of a kind
you are the fortunate ones

however, some ppl were not born that way
we are one of a kind, yes
but we are rather unfortunate

we do not always smile or laugh
the things people laugh at, i am unamused
yet the things people are serious about, i burst out laughing
when i joke, no one gets it
when i say something, no one understands it
only those close to me love me
yet both them and others misunderstand me often
yes, such people like me are truly one of a kind
but are we glad for such unique-ness?
we're unique, yes
till the extend that it hurts

Dyan said something about that to me today
seems like he kind of understand what sort of uniqueness problem i am experiencing
for only those who have gone through it knows what it is truly like

but then again
if i can accept and tolerate the people around me
including the bullshit they give me which i dont find it nice (due to my unique attitude)
then they should be able to accept and tolerate me
including the bullshit i give to them which they dont find it nice (due to our different attitudes)

it cant always be a one-sided affair

I am a weird person with a weirdly-yet-unique personality
"live with it"
if i can live with people with totally different personalities as mine
i'm rather certain they can live with mine

and then again,
dyan is right
"...there's no point in dwelling on what people think about us..."

so instead of trying to fit in
and adjust my personality to fit theirs
i want to show my true self to others
i want people, my friends, to love me for who i really am
not what i became due to influences and my weak attempt to become like others.

I don't want to run away anymore
or simply "blend in"
like a silly reptilic chameleon
I will learn to accept all these things.

weird

2009-06-21T00:16:00.002+08:00

just got emails from some job finding company
all those jobs that i cant even take up
needing more than 3years experiences in each of them
how odd :)

why wont companies like Gaurdian Pharmacy send me a job application
things like : Would you like to become the Assistant Pharmacist?

man that would be like great~
spending the whole day learning more about all those fascinating medicines..

sometimes i find that i am a bit weird
and not suitable for my age group
because people at 16 do not usually read books about diseases
or organ transplant
(and still be amazed by them all)
16year-old's dont go around correcting her friends' grammatical errors
and how they pronounce words
and they are mature
not childish and lazy
they dont tell jokes that only less than 5% of the population will laugh at
they are not lame
they are not like me.

today

2009-06-19T23:08:00.003+08:00

hmm..still not much ppl coming to my blog
except for a few juniors
but its okay
popularity doesnt always matter
~~right?~~

today
went to leon's house to do homework
only managed to finish north vista sec de physics paper
wow
so anyway
went to renon's house for soccer
ended up waiting there for around 45mins
watching them play wwe wrestling games (omg!)
then watch Code Geass episode 15 (i think?) with leon on the computer
wow
i wish i could have an elder brother who is as loving caring and doting like Lelouch!
Nanally is lucky to have such a brother :)

played soccer
felt that my performance today was not very good though scored two goals
nowadays getting tired easily
not good
boyi can sweat damn alot

ended the game early today
went up to renon's house
sit around for abit then left for tuition
weiting came today! :)
did some nan hua paper questions
one thing about doing maths with ting is that u will be damn freaked out when she scribbles and writes like crazy and the way she presses the calculator is damn fast
overall, she speeds her homework rate.
cool~

thats all..

Hero Heroine

2009-06-14T23:20:00.002+08:00

there are many heroes born everyday
many of them do not seem like it, but they actually are

a true hero
knows what to spare
and what not to
he cares for others
even if it hurts himself
and though he might grumble
he will never forget his dreams

even when there is no one to save her
when she saves the world
even when she gets hurt
but no one notices her silent suffering
even when she forgot how to be her true self due to all the mess in her life she has
just to help the living and "non" living things
she will never forget her dream
she will never stop loving
she will never give up
because she knows
that even if after she saves the world, she suffers hell
that would be nothing compared to all the smiles she managed to put on everything's faces
after she saved the world

after she saves the world
everyone would be happy
but she might not be
but to her, perhaps
she knows when others are happy
she will be happy too.

and so..

2009-06-14T22:45:00.002+08:00

and so.. that was when i finally realised
that in this whole story
it was always me
and not others
i am too selfish, needy, touchy
emotional

i am too selfish.

Orenji kyou mo
Tabete mita kedo
Mada suppakute naita
Watashi mitai de nokosenai kara
Zenbu tabeta
Suki da yo nakeru yo
Suki da yo suki da yo

Nitete mo chigau yo
Mandarin orenji
Tomodachi koibito
Futari no kokoro mo

Kizutsukitakunai
Watashi wa nigeteta
Soshitara hikari mo
Sashite wa kurenai

Kiseki na no ni ne
Deai mo koi mo
Tane mo tsubomi mo
Mada aoi mi de sae mo

Credits for the lyrics to: www.gendou.com

the days..

2009-06-10T22:06:00.003+08:00

Day 1:
-screamed at the cadets like hell
-felt kinda good doing it since long time never shout le
-evac lessons all the way..
-...
-vetting..
-tired
-slept at 2.30am
-slept with mardi nada cindy and siti at middle of parade square damn great :)
day 2:
-free wake up call by ncc..
-saw a super biased principal
-ms haiza said we only had chilli for breakfast which was like damn funny
-older ppl started running the whole thing
-didnt know what to help with, so just helped with the firewood and the fire torch thing
-seems that me and cindy's help wasnt good enough, wasnt useful enough, wasnt enough
-sorry ncc..
-vet campfire performances
-campfire
-damn high
-my sis came :)
-performances were great :)
-sudden upset
-sec4 performance
-was the bimboitic judge, Bimbo Tinbo Dumbo with siti :)
-super funny performance!~
-laughing too hard at nada's act, couldnt even say any judges' comments on her performance, laughing too hard XD
-cried damn hard while singing "I'll Remember You"
-wondered why he's always like this
-debrief..
-rather disappointed
-went out with sec4s and Esther Ma'am bought me peach tea :)
-slept at parade square again :) loved it
day 3:
-dont have free morning call
-blablabla..
-slacked like some sloth inside rc room
-used sy's face and body paint and painted on my arms and hands :)
-wasted alot of her paint though :(
-slept lying on the spoiled stretcher, damn shiok :)
-went down for late lunch
-very yummy
-played caterpillar hahaha :)
-then this happened and that happened
-got a rather not nice msg..
-haiz..
-break camp

all in all
-everyone really has improved alot
-but still has alot alot of room for improvements
-and i believe that the next committee are still able to do a good job, no matter what
-i believe they can do it :)

many thousand thanks to:
-those sec4s with me :) I'll Remember You
-VIs who came :)
-seniors who came down to see :)
-sec3s :)
-sec2s :)
-sec1s :)
-Miss Haiza :)
-Adrian and Boon Ping and Ye Shen for all the ava things, still stay up with us and console us and stuff (they are very great ppl!) :)
-NCC CLTs for helping us so much :)
-everyone else who made camp enjoyable :)

somemore thanks to:
-Leon, who was there on the phone to console and encourage me for all 3 days :)

right now, im just feeling very down after that phonecall i made to him
sometimes i wonder why are they so different

i feel very unhappy, because i just realise that everytime i try to make things better for both parties, i always get kind of scolded (is that the right word?) at.
im not trying to side, im trying to mediate
maybe im doing it the wrong way, but a little credit wont hurt right?
its not easy for me either

oh well.
whats over is over :)

To town area we go~

2009-06-06T20:56:00.003+08:00

Renon is sitting beside me right now as I type
and he thinks he's irritating me
or not :)
hi renon! *waves*
today was a very enjoyable and fun day!and tiring and a very sad day

yesterday was the day of my very last parade
T.T
got scratched by a cat
damn deep cut, very painful also when i washed the wound :(

i am now terrified of cats.

2.40pm went to school with mardi to report for parade
we checked some stuff, slacked around
siting syamsiah treated me to drinks and prawn crackers! thanks! (this is so random)
then we went down to the parade square to practice our marching for a while.

had one final parade rehearsal
(Renon gladly pointed out that the NCC supporting contingent had cocked up the 1st rehearsal)
^^ ^^ * we jumped around in joy!* haha XD
then we had our dinner
quite nice and i ate all the rice and 2 servings of the veggies! (coz sy didnt want hers)
but couldnt eat the fish, too full

changed into our full uniform
then fall in at the holding area
Esther Ma'am Jeslynn Ma'am Yingshuen Ma'am and Zhiqian Sir were there
the sad moments started
Esther Ma'am talked to us coz it was our last parade
and she has been with us since we were sec1s.
she cried we cried, damn alot
she went around telling the sec4s some stuff,
mine made me cry. from a everytime report sick casualty to a rather fit (?) warrant officer
with my wonderful lanyard with me
haiz..

the parade started!!
wheeee! damn cool last parade
renon was somewhere standing along the corridor of the parade square with his "flashy yellow flash, nice lanyard, cool SI rank and wonderful NPCC uniform, and damn bloody shiny boots and drill cane and mickey mouse white gloves, well-seasoned beret. TADAA~!!"
wohh

(our gloves were more special, we had it since we were west champs :) from esther ma'am :) even better)

Leon was up there in the hall looking down at us
and so was my Mom and my younger sister :)
but my elder sis was not there.. :(

the GOH took forever to arrive!

soon the parade, my last parade in my splendid uniform, it ended, too soon.
as we bersurai-ed with the contingent, sec4s cried lots
we hugged esther ma'am all together, and cried even more
sec4s fall in, Nada commanded us, our last time doing footdrill tgt in our full uniforms
we bersurai-ed
and cried

dunno why the sec3s were crying like hell also haha :)

aww.. my dear sec2 daughters..
Mommy's going off soon
but you guys must always remember that you all are batchmates
be independent :)

FA duty was tiring
stupid Ivan Ang guai lan-ed me
but clever Leon Ang lessened my boredom by msging with me
haha. The difference between brothers. hmm.
Jia Hao is officially botak.
kept walking around with my sis, and telling everyone she's my daughter XD
*go away Aaron!!* (he's like guai lan-ing me now about my post!)

sent Mardi home in my dad's car
then went home. managed to tahan and did one last graph for one last maths paper and went to sleep.

The next day!!
came to school at 8am to help Kaiwen and Kaihui open rc room so that they could check log and fa stuff
slacked inside rc room with them for a while then started my journey to Leon's house at 10am?
and when he came to pick me up at the bus stop I saw him do a very good deed.
my bff is such a nice person! :)

Leon's house is cool. went to his room to explore and explored. and i saw the xmas card!
i wonder if the other ppl i sent it to kept it :)
was really bored nothing to do coz Ivan was using the computer, watching anime
so checked Leon's tuition homework until Ting came :)
then Renon came. and Leon wore Ivan's number 1
damn nice la! haha!
then it was my turn to wear it! and the feeling was great! since i never got to be Guard-of-Honour before, and for that I really dislike the principal..
but the pants were huge so Ting had to help me with it. and the sleeves were really long
in conclusion, the whole number one was big, and i was swimming in it.
spend the rest of the waiting time watching Mai HiME on youtube with Ivan :) quite nice

when darren came, it was 12.30pm, i spent 2hours in leon's house
went to suntec city with them, and we went to a book fair 1st
the shop selling anime stuff is cool!

went to find a shop called Otaka House, which is now officially my favourite shop
got sell Hinata's jackets and the house captain of the soul society in Bleach de uniform!
and lots of cosplay stuff ^^
and lots of other manga and anime things
I love that shop! :)
darren treated us to candy! :)
ting had to go off early :(
went to orchard road in search of another otaka house
but in the end had to go off earlier

so renon darren and i bought food at Tori Q (bentos?) and sushi
then walked to renon's house and had dinner tgt while watching tv
he gave me 7 icecubes in my 100+! :D
blogged while they played chess
then a very embarrassing and funny thing happened.. haha! oh man

what a long post!

Faded

2009-05-21T21:50:00.002+08:00

I'll work hard to get into the school you want me to go
I'll strive hard to get that ambition i have that came from you

But you can't keep controlling me
I'll fade into someone else
Maybe its someone I never want to be
Like a picture nobody sees.

Countdown

2009-04-27T23:36:00.002+08:00

remember hui ling
you only have so little left
so now, even when its not fair to you
lower your pride
open your heart

accept those
-who cant accept you, even when they think they have
-who think they know you, and misunderstandings occur
-who think you are bad, and everything else included
-who makes you feel inferior
-who think they are great, but are not

in 3 years time, I will save whatever I can
its okay to feel a little unjust and let others win, even when you know you're not the only one at fault and most of it lies with the others
its okay
just accept that
accomplish all your goals, whatever you can achieve
at least you'll die with no regrets

Boys like Girls - The Great Escape

2009-02-22T00:13:00.003+08:00

The Great Escape -- Boys Like Girls

Paper bags and plastic hearts

All are belongings in shopping carts

It's goodbye

But we got one more night

Let's get drunk and ride around

And make peace with an empty town

We can make it right

Throw it away

Forget yesterday

We'll make the great escape

We won't hear a word they say

They don't know us anyway

Watch it burn

Let it die

Cause we are finally free

Tonight

Tonight will change our lives

It's so good to be by your side

But we'll cry

We won't give up the fight

We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs

And they'll think it's just cause we're young

And we'll feel so alive

Throw it away

Forget yesterday

We'll make the great escape

We won't hear a word they say

They don't know us anyway

Watch it burn

Let it die

Cause we are finally free

Tonight

All of the wasted time

The hours that were left behind

The answers that we'll never find

They don't mean a thing tonight

Throw it away

Forget yesterday

We'll make the great escape

We won't hear a word they say

They don't know us anyway

Throw it away

Forget yesterday

We'll make the great escape

We won't hear a word they say

They don't know us anyway

Throw it away

Forget yesterday

We'll make the great escape

We won't hear a word they say

They don't know us anyway

Watch it burn

Let it die

Cause we are finally free

Tonight

2008-11-01T16:20:00.001+08:00

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.

Vince Lombardi